Head & Heart in Conflict
I know about grace. I've preached about grace. I've encouraged others to receive grace. I am passionate about grace. My problem is that, after all these many years as a Christian, I still find it difficult to believe that God's grace is available for me. I know I was saved by grace. I know I am called to walk in that grace - as distinct from living under the demands of Law.
This morning I 'stumbled' on a verse in Daniel that I immediately sensed was highlighted by the Holy Sprit just for me. Don't be afraid," he said, "for you are deeply loved by God. Be at peace; take heart and be strong!" (Daniel 10:19 NLT) Yet again I became aware of the dissonance between my head and my heart that so easily manifests itself in the face of such a promise.
My head seems to accept the statement as a propositional truth. But my heart seems to struggle to simply accept and rest in the wonder of it. My head is capable of saying, "God said it, I believe it, that settles it!" But my heart responds with something that sounds like, "Hey, wait just a moment. There has to be more to this than meets the eye. There has to be a condition somewhere. Something that I have to be or do that activates this promise".
The rest of that verse in Daniel helps me know when my heart has stopped questioning and is resting in the reality of the promise As he spoke these words, I suddenly felt stronger and said to him, "Now you may speak, my lord, for you have strengthened me." (Daniel 10:19NLT) There is a strength that comes into one's spirit when the promise of God is not only believed but received into one's heart.
Someone once observed that the most difficult distance in the world to bridge is the 30 centimetres from the head to the heart.
