Yesterday the local media reported the now-not-so secret homosexual life of a high profile politician. Yesterday also a high profile sportsman spoke publicly of his conviction that it's unwise for 'gay men' - in this case, footballers - to declare their homosexual preference. The footballer was quickly charged with homophobia by many commentators in the media and by many in the world of professional football.
The lightning speed with which this charge was laid has got me thinking about just where the real focus of the fear regarding homosexuality is to be found. So I turned to the fount of all knowledge (!), Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, and read the following:
Homophobia is a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards homosexuality and people identified or perceived as being homosexual. Definitions refer variably to antipathy, contempt, prejudice, aversion, and irrational fear
I'd like to ask you to try something with me at this point. Read the definition above but exchange the words "homophobia", "homosexuality", "homosexual" and, in their place, read "heterosexual" etc.Then you get something like this:
Heterophobia is a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards heterosexuality and people identified or perceived as being heterosexual. Definitions refer variably to antipathy, contempt, prejudice, aversion, and irrational fear.
I don't even know if there is such a word as "heterophobia". But if there isn't, there should be. Please hear me clearly: I am not denying that there are, in the heterosexual community, those people who deeply fear homosexuals, homosexuality and all that they believe it represents. Nor do I deny that, from among their ranks, there are those who will persecute and discriminate against homosexuals.
But my point here is that this fear is not all on one side of the discussion. I would contend that heterophobia (fear of heterosexuals) is no less alive and well than homophobia - although I can't recall ever hearing it mentioned. I would also contend that there is an agenda within the homosexual community that is designed to discriminate against any and all who will not recant their personal conviction; that is, they cannot accept homosexuality as an alternate lifestyle.
Whatever way we look at it, the recurring word is "fear" - be it heterosexual or homosexual. It is fear that skews sensible discussion between advocates of each lifestyle. It is fear that sets one against the other. It is fear that drives both agendas. It will be fear that keeps both parties apart. While ever we embrace that mutual fear, we will continue to seek for ways and means - for evidence and proof - that discredits the 'other side' and justifies our own position. As with any subject in which people's reactions are energized by fear, those reactions will almost certainly be against a caricature of the issue at hand, not the real thing.
However, I submit that there is an alternative to homophobia and heterophobia. It's an approach to the differences of perspective that I don't think has been sufficiently explored - at least, not to my knowledge. There is an assumption on both sides of this debate that the differences are irreconcilable and, therefore, the opponents are 'the enemy'.
For my part, I want to find a way that, at the very least, allows the possibility of respectful listening to each other. I'm not asking for compromise of convictions. I am asking for the opportunity to listen to the convictions of the homosexual and to expect the same courtesy to be afforded to the heterosexual in return.
As a Christian, I find myself looking at the life and ministry of Jesus Christ as a model of what we, as His disciples, are supposed to be and how we are to respond. I find that He had a remarkable ability to accept those whose lifestyle and convictions put them at odds with Him. However, they did not feel rejected by Him. He did not compromise Himself or try to find some common ground that led to the diminishing of His convictions.
I want to find that place among those who don't agree with me (nor I with them) whereby we seek to accurately understand each other's convictions. We may well pursue that place knowing all the time that it will not lead to agreement. But it will defuse or neutralize the fear factor. It will mean we treat each other with dignity and respect even though we hold widely different views.
Why can't I hold sincerely to the conviction that homosexuality is contrary to God's order and still accept and be accepted by those who do not believe as I believe? From either position, acceptance does not mean agreement with or the condoning of the other conviction. Why must I be labeled homophobic if I take that stand and be true to my convictions?
Jesus was able to move among those people of his day who were the "sinners and tax collectors" yet without condoning their lifestyle choices. He was called "the friend of sinners". What a wonderful title! But He was given that title by his opponents - the religious leaders - and it was not bestowed as a tribute but as a criticism of His association with these people.
I believe that all people are 'sinners' and that the homosexual and heterosexual stand equally in need of grace and forgiveness. Homosexuality does not stand in a category all its own. Greed, bigotry, bitterness, slander, selfish ambition, sexual immorality, quarreling, division, dissension, drunkenness - the list goes on - without these sins being ranked in order of severity.
While it is true that sexual sin has a greater capacity for relational damage and destruction than many other sins, that does not make it worse than other sins or in line for greater condemnation.
To return finally to our fount of all wisdom (Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia!) "Phobia" A phobia is an intense and persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, animals, or people.
It is the fear - homophobic or heterophobic - that we need to defuse. And that is not about to happen while we are intent upon labeling each other and thus widening the gulf between us rather than building bridges of understanding.
