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When I asked my American host how to get to the venue he had just described, his answer momentarily puzzled me until I saw that mischievous glint in his eye. "You can't get there from here," he said, "You've got to go somewhere else and start"!! This was his humorous way of saying that the venue was a very long, long way from our present location.

Now how do I get from that little story to the subject of same-sex marriage?

Speaking of same-sex marriage (!), I recently watched a TV discussion program where it was obvious that all the participants were advocates of same-sex (or gay) marriage. I again wrestled with the question, "How can they possibly reach the conclusion that same-sex marriage is OK to the point where its acceptance may even be a sign that, as a society, we are at last maturing".

The morning after that TV program an epiphany took place for me. I suddenly saw it. It is stated so clearly in the words of my American friend, "You can't get there from here. You've got to go somewhere else and start"!! The reason the advocates of same-sex marriage can reach that position is because of where they start.

I can't escape the reality that where one starts in this debate will be the determining factor so far as where one finishes. That conviction is very influential in the way I process the issue of same-sex marriage. And a bunch of other controversial relationship issues!!

The reason I can't accept same-sex marriage is because of where I start in processing the many factors in the debate. My conviction starts with the fact that we have been made male and female. (Genesis 1/27) .The reason that the advocates of same-sex marriage can't accept my position is because of where they start. And, so far as I can tell, that isn't Genesis 1/27!! In fact, their starting point is a long, long way from where I am. Actually, you can't get there from here (where I am), you have to go somewhere else and start (where they are).

Somewhere that position ignores or rejects the Creator's intention expressed in the complementary natures, psychology and physiology of male and female. Think about it. "You can't get there from here". In my case "here" refers to my acceptance of the authority of the Biblical record of the creation of the human race and the exclusiveness of male/female marriage. "There" refers to the position that denies that account thus allowing the possibility of all kinds of relationships - including same-sex marriage.

Then there is this:  "You've got to go somewhere else and start"!! I can't get where they are from here. The only way I can find agreement with their conclusion is to abandon my starting point and start from where they start. And that is too far. So the reality is this: since our respective starting points are so different, of course our conclusions will be different.

Debate about same-sex marriage seems almost futile if persuasion and reconciliation are the goals. The gulf between the 2 positions is huge. Nonetheless, I will continue to put my case as best I can but, since our starting points are so far removed from each other, I'm not terribly optimistic about the outcome.

The push for same-sex marriage is not the real issue. It's a symptom of something much, much deeper. The real issue is, "Who is in charge around here? Or does everyone do what is right in their own eyes?"

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