Trusting in the Ultimate Trial.
I have enjoyed excellent health for most of my life and I thank God for such a precious gift. Even after being diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease at age 58, I continued to live actively despite the symptoms of the disease which were more of a nuisance than a liability.
But that Saturday morning, June 13, 2004, I was impacted in a way that forcefully brought home to me the reality of my mortality. I recall trying to get out of bed. The bedroom was spinning. My shoulders ached. I had no idea that I was about to suffer a heart attack. The ambulance arrived quickly and, in what seemed a whirl of activity, I was transported to the Emergency Room at our local hospital. Obviously, those events have had a happy outcome in the longer term!
However, three and a half years later, I still find I can be easily intimidated by occasional aches and pains that remind me of that morning. My local Doctor and my Cardiologist assure me that my heart is fine. Even so, I still have times when reminders of my mortality continue to intimidate me with feelings of vulnerability.
But last night in our Home Group, one of our ladies was sharing her story. I'm sure she won't mind me calling her one of our senior ladies! The account of her life's journey with God has held us quite fascinated for the last 2 weeks as she has told us of God's faithfulness and provision over the many decades she has walked with Him and He with her. Last night one comment in particular lodged in my heart and has begun liberating me from the intimidation of these last few years. It was this: "If I can trust God with my life, I can trust Him with my dying". That's it. That simple. Yet that profound.
I've always known that as a theological truth. Last night, in a new way, it started to become a personal reality. The transference of that reality from mind to heart won't be instantaneous! But already I have felt the first indicators of liberation from intimidation. I think the Psalmist said it best: "My times are in Your hands".
