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I can still recall the first time I kissed the girl who, in due course, became my wife. It was early July, 1960, and we had been "an item" for about 2 weeks. Although the specifics of that memorable event are somewhat hazy, I still recall the thrill of it all. The increased heart rate. The weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. The sense of privilege that I felt that this lovely creature allowed me to express my emerging feelings I had for her with that kiss. Ah yes, very special!!
What made the kiss so special was that she responded by returning my kiss and thus she completed what I would describe as an unspoken 'agreement' - i.e. that we would explore our fledgling relationship to see if it might mature into the full commitment of marriage.
What is a kiss? I'm not talking here about a peck on the cheek by way of a greeting or farewell. I'm thinking more of a kiss between two people expressing, at the very least, affection for each other.
So, what is a kiss in that sense? I suppose one could answer the question by explaining the mechanics of a kiss. We might say something like,
"Well, a kiss takes place when two people each 'pucker' their lips and press their lips against the lips of the other. As that physical contact is extended there will probably be some exchange of saliva, depending upon the intensity of the kiss. The kiss is completed when the lips disengage".
Even as I write those words, it occurs to me that anyone who answers the question "What is a kiss?" in those terms is to be pitied!! They have missed the point completely. They have described the mechanics of the kiss but they have totally missed the mysteries of the kiss. What is it about the kiss that goes beyond explaining the physical act and takes it into the realm of mystery? Why does the heart rate increase? How is it that a kiss can mess so delightfully with our memory and make us forgetful? Distracted? Pre-occupied? And what about the ability of a kiss to sometimes cause us to make new decisions and commitments?
My response to such questions is this: "Who cares?"Why do we have to explain everything in technical terms? What is it about us that will not let us be at rest with mystery? Maybe we have to explain it because then we think that we can control it. Mystery cannot be mastered and, therefore, it cannot be controlled by us.
I have come to believe that we rob life of much of its dynamic while ever we have to eliminate the mysterious and live life only in terms of the mechanical. It's the difference between enjoying the mystery of the kiss and 'floating on air' (and all that this includes) and being satisfied with a mechanical act that is devoid of any feeling and mystery.
Which brings me to the kiss called Christmas. But the explanation of that expression will have to wait until my next entry.
