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No Regrets,

I have been browsing through a lot of family photos lately. Thanks to the wonderful world of digital photography, the number of photos in my collection now amount to over 3 million! Well, it seems that way!!

So many of them are family photos and many of them (most of them?) feature Bev. The power of photos to energise memories is undeniable. It is easy to get lost in one’s reverie as those photos transport me back to events, people and places that have been part of our shared experience of this earthly life.

As the process of grieving her absence continues, I’m not aware of any significant regrets. Mind you, that is not to say that there weren’t some situations that I would handle differently given the opportunity. But, by and large, I look back over our life together with a deep sense of gratitude to God that we had the life we did.

It was only this morning that I realised that part of my grief is that I want to do it all again! It was a great journey together so why did it have to end? I want to do it again.

I suppose it’s a bit like a great holiday. The weather has been great. The hosts have been terrific. But now it is time to go home. Why? Surely something this good doesn’t have to finish.  Let’s turn 2 weeks into a month. In fact, let’s never go home!!

But we have known all along that this day would come. Sooner or later, the plane to take us home would arrive. We would put it off if we possibly could. It would be great if our departure from our holiday venue was, instead, our arrival and we got to do it all over again.

That is what my grief feels like at the moment. I’m grateful for what has been. I just want to do it again.


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